Possibilities: They Are Where You Cannot Even Imagine!

When I arrived in the Republic of Nicaragua I found everything very different from Brazil, but I decided to open myself up to new experiences. Without creating expectations, I tried to accept this new country into my life. I chose to prepare myself for the “non-knowledge” of things. I opened myself to the new culture, the new place, and all the POSSIBILITIES that presented themselves to me while I watched everything carefully.

I came curious to work together with an NGO that works on issues of social justice, community development, and health, so after GMF training and training in the capital of the country, I went to the Caribbean Coast and started a cultural immersion that would change my life!

The Autonomous Region of the North Caribbean of Nicaragua is very interesting and fun. Interesting because it is everything different from what I already knew, and fun because that is how I see my learning process and adaptation! I love meeting people, and my biggest investments have been directed to new relationships I’ve made.

Even though sometimes people look at me as if I’m from another planet, it’s fun! Once I was accompanied by my friend from work and a very humble lady asked my Nicaraguan friend, “What country is she from?” I looked at her and answered in Spanish: “I’m from Brazil!” I smiled, but that lady was very embarrassed because I spoke to her without knowing her. After I said my name, she already gained more confidence and continued asking questions!

In Brazil I have always loved going out for a walk and having coffee outside the house every day; this is something important for me. However, in my place of work it is impractical, so I have reorganized my lifestyle. Now I like to make homemade coffee, wash clothes by hand with a specific soap whose smell I love, do exercises in the workshop room of my work (where I live), and sit on the porch talking to a work friend! I rewrite Bible passages and study my actions together with some friends of my GMF class! This is good!

We are all beings that adapt, and I can say that I am very happy to live as I live and to meet so many nice people. The important thing in all of this is to be well and have fun even in a complex context. I choose to smile every day in the midst of my sadness, and it makes me grow a little stronger.

My gratitude is for being able to do what I learned to enjoy. I continue to learn how to be, how to learn, and how to do. My learning is constant, and in Christ I can say with great confidence: everything is fine!

Ester Antunes

GMF International, Class of 2017-2019

Nicaragua

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Possibilidades, elas estão onde você nem imagina!

Quando cheguei na Republica da Nicarágua achei tudo muito diferente do Brasil, mas decidi me abrir para as novas experiências e sem criar expectativas busquei aceitar esse novo país na minha vida. Escolhi me preparar para o “não conhecimento” das coisas, me abri para a nova cultura, o novo lugar e todas as POSSIBILIDADES que se apresentavam à mim enquanto eu observava tudo atentamente.

Cheguei curiosa para trabalhar junto com uma ONG que atua em questões de justiça social, desenvolvimento comunitário e saúde, então após capacitações e treinamentos na Capital do país, fui a Costa do Caribe e comecei uma imersão cultural que mudaria minha vida!

A Região Autônoma do Caribe Norte da Nicarágua é muito interessante e divertida, interessante porque é tudo diferente do que eu já conhecia e divertida porque é assim que eu enxergo o meu processo de aprendizagem e adaptação! Eu amo conhecer pessoas e meus maiores investimentos foram direcionados a novos relacionamentos que fiz, mesmo que as vezes as pessoas me olhem como se eu fosse de outro planeta, é divertido! Uma vez eu estava acompanhada com minha amiga de trabalho e uma senhora muito humilde perguntou a minha amiga nicaraguense: de que país ela é? Olhei para ela e respondi em espanhol: Sou do Brasil! Eu sorri, mas aquela senhora ficou muito envergonhada por que eu falei com ela mesmo sem a conhecer, após dizer meu nome ela já ganhou mais confiança e seguiu fazendo perguntas!

Sempre amei sair para passear e tomar café fora de casa todos os dias, isso é algo importante para mim, mas no meu local de atuação é inviável então eu readequei meu processo de qualidade de vida e agora gosto de fazer café artesanal em casa, lavar roupas na mão com um sabão específico que eu amo o cheiro, fazer exercícios na sala da oficina do meu trabalho( onde eu moro) e sentar na varanda para conversar com uma amiga de trabalho! Reescrevo passagens bíblicas e estudo minhas ações juntamente com alguns amigos de minha turma GMF! Todos nós somos seres que se adaptam e posso dizer que estou muito contente de viver como vivo e conhecer tantas pessoas legais, o importante em tudo isso é estar bem e se divertir mesmo em um contexto complexo, eu escolhi sorrir para a tristeza todos os dias, e ela me faz crescer um pouco mais forte.

Minha gratidão é por poder fazer o que eu aprendi a gostar, sigo aprendendo a ser, aprender, fazer e ser, minha aprendizagem é constante e em Cristo eu posso afirmar com muito consciência: vai tudo bem!

The Starting Point of the Beginning

It was in the early evening when the 0628 flight of Ethiopian Airlines landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport. A few minutes later, my excitement of arriving started to dissipate. Walking into the immigration office at the airport took me longer than I thought. By the time I walked out of that office, the airport was almost empty. As if that was not enough, while heading to claim my baggage, I saw my suitcase wrecked with half of my clothes out. From there I knew that things would be tough for me in the Philippines. Once outside with my recycled clothes, I heard my name. Looking across the street, I saw the KKFI’s van with a couple of people who had come to pick me up.

My world turned upside down in my first three months. I went through everything that a missionary could, and I didn’t expect it. From the visa process to culture shock to language barriers to work supervision hardships to anything that you can imagine. In my head, the verb “to resign” was reoccurring quite often, but thank God the verb was never conjugated. The turning point was my relocation to Pulilan. While still skeptical about what was waiting for me there. Turns out, Pulilan became my perfect spot while supervising KKFI’s programs. It’s the reason why I’m still in the game.

Pulilan has been a great place, with great young people with whom I am working. Satisfactory would my program’s rating. Dealing with 41 scholars from three different communities has been very hectic and challenging for me. Programs such as care group (once a week) and church service (Sundays) have help me connecting with these young people, which has made my work somehow easy. However, since it is a mandatory requirement for scholars to attend care groups, some started losing interest in it, thus making it hell for me. I really don’t blame them because they would never understand the pressure to be in my shoes as a foreigner trying to do my best. Tutoring was the most frustrating and complicated sessions for me. Let alone that I had to carry them in the communities sometimes alone, but even those held in Gilead tend to be challenging. For instance, some youth would willingly oppose my planned lessons, schedule, and everything. Then, I decided to save my time and energy, and let them plan whatever they want to learn at each session. Because, some won’t attend or will just walk away if I do plan. Thus discouraging the few that would be attending.

Truth be told, my status of missionary has never favored me. To many, I was just an outsider with no power. Don’t get me wrong here! I’m not saying they should “worship me,” but I always felt that I was irrelevant to their eyes compared to other staff. This has been my mission journey reality. Well! Every story has an end–even the movie “The Passion of The Christ” ended. So, praise be to God my ending is coming.

Bellarmee Milosi

GMF International, Class of 2016-2018

Philippines

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Ten Times Stronger

Assuming that all things were ready with my Honors Degree in Psychology and Theological academics, I packed my bags heading for Brazil full of hope, faith, expectations, enthusiasm, and zeal of participating in fulfilling the Great Commission. Through experiences of serving with communities through churches and different organizations in the past, my mind could only testify to my readiness for mission work beyond borders.

After serving God for more than a year in Brazil, I have realized that God wanted to mold me even more. Not only have I participated in the transformation of the world, but I also have experienced personal growth and internal transformation. My mission work experiences have taught me some lessons. Ask me about victimization, racism, depression, bitterness, desperation, hopelessness, and frustration, and I can deliver a thousand lectures. I never expected to experience such things, but for quite some time it has been my lunch and dinner. Maybe surprisingly I do not regret experiencing them but I am proud as I have become ten times stronger in different ways.

God taught me about patience, humbleness, contentment, perseverance, dedication, loyalty, and being positive. Life has a way of kicking us when we’re down. And just when we think we can’t fall any lower, we get kicked again. After all it is said, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed…” (2 Corinthians 4:8-12) and “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” (Romans 8:35). In every situation we are molded by God for even bigger roles in His kingdom. God’s love for us is always in abundance. We endure and tarry in different situations for His sake as great promise awaits us. “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29).

I am humble that through the Global Mission Fellows program, God chastened and quickened me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. At last I managed to participate even more than I expected. I’m kindly encouraging each and everyone to continue with the good work no matter what we go through. Let’s encourage each other to continue and start the good work. “And he said to them, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest'” (Luke 10:2). May our good Lord continue to bless those supporting mission work through finances, material resources, and prayers.

Peace, love, joy!

Blessing

Tapiwa Blessing Kanengoni

GMF International, Class of 2016-2018

Brazil

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What’s next?

It might seem too early to have this question but less than four months from now, I will go back to the Philippines, I will do two months of integration service, and then my GMF term will end. After our midterm event last November, there are days that I am already looking forward to the end of my international placement and being back in my home context, but most of the days, I am anxiously thinking, “What’s next?”

When I decided enter the program, I didn’t plan anything afterwards. Not having a long-term plan is totally out of my personality, but I courageously heed to a calling that has been long overdue and journey to the uncertainty. I want to be transformed — to strengthen my trust in God, to serve God, to align my priorities in life, and to adhere to the mandates of our Christian faith of living in peace, justice, and abundant life for all.

During my 18 months in the program, I was able to diversely expand my network, be exposed to different programs and ways to serve and ‘be with’ communities, have different lenses that allowed me to see the injustices that have long existed and do not get much attention (not only in Zambia but also in the Philippines and around the world), have a transformed perspective of social justice, and grow a deeper desire to break from the systems that dictate that we compete with one another rather than be together.

Along with this transforming experience come different ideas, visions, and challenges that mingle with opportunities (or options) both from my current and previous journeys. Not having a long-term plan have both good and not so good aspects. Some of the good aspects are that it made me being more present and focused on the experience, being amazed by the revelations and transforming experience without being spoiled by unmet expectations, and being open to various learnings that are not limited by a roadmap or timelines. One not so good aspect of not having a long-term plan is that it is harder to discern the options that I have.

Not knowing what to do despite having many things to do can be worrying-–it’s like listening to many songs playing at once and you don’t know which one to focus on or to sing along with. Identifying which options are of God or which are of myself can then be confusing.

It is in times like this that I am reminded to take a pause and look back. To stop all the songs and tune myself to the voice of God, the voice that has brought me to this journey. As I read back from the GMF purpose statement I submitted during my application, I found a cue of what’s next.

“After the program I hope to finally walk on the path of mission that God has planted in my heart since childhood. I hope to be exposed and build new connections in the mission environment and be able to continue working in other organizations or institutions focusing on sustainability of life and alleviation of injustices.”

Adrian Mendoza

GMF International, Class of 2016-2018

Zambia

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The Art of Getting By

Have you ever felt those days that you do and say things just for time to move forward and that day to end? This was an easy tendency, especially when you are in a new environment with a different culture (and language). It is easier to see the differences which makes our life “harder” than to look at the original purpose why we chose our current path. It is also easier to cover loneliness, fear of the unknown, and our weaknesses with “hard and excellent work” which can be applauded and appreciated by the people who sees it.

As I reflected on the last chapter of Philippians in the New Testament, I saw myself being reluctant to “just get by”. It has been less than three months now since I arrived in my place of assignment: Montevideo, Uruguay in South America (36 hours by flight from my home, Philippines in Asia). It has been a wonderful blessing to be in the Global Mission Fellow program of the United Methodist Church. I always wanted to be a missionary, and now I am finally a cross-culture missionary.

Personally, I think some of us had that one dream job or passion career that we always wanted to have. Then, God being very gracious, grants us this desire of our heart but then after some time we find ourselves either distracted and bored or dragging our bodies to work in order to finish our assigned tasks. After receiving the blessing that we asked for, sometimes we reach a point of boredom and routine. I realized that there is a reason why it was emphasized in this chapter to “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice” (Philippians 4:4, ESV).

It has been a very exciting journey, seeing how God carries people to places they never thought they would be, doing things they never imagined they CAN do. That is my missionary journey, the actual “art of getting by” is not about the typical “just to get by” kind of definition but instead, wonderful and unbelievable steps of faith and reaching something you never think you CAN. To continue this last chapter of Philippians, it says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7) How encouraging it is to be assured that despite the human tendency to worry, wanting to take control our own life and sometimes other people’s life, the Lord is faithful with His promises through Jesus Christ. Peace allows us to live for others rather than for ourselves, a life imitating Jesus needed this kind of peace and so is prayer.

As a new missionary who desires to imitate how Jesus walked, it is a pleasant reminder that prayer is really powerful it can bring peace. It also one of the clearest discipline that Jesus did during His ministry. 

Micah Pascual

GMF International, Class of 2017-2019

Uruguay

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Green and Dying

The poem “Fern Hill” by Dylan Thomas, is a magnificent weaving of the spell we cast upon ourselves. We are enchanted by the desire for times past, for innocence, for the power of knowing nothing outside of the gate of the front yard. The last two lines of the poem read:

Time held me green and dying

Though I sang in my chains like the sea

I first heard the poem when I sang “Fern Hill” with my University Choir. My understanding of it was all wrapped up into the images of green British countryside and the pastoral nostalgia of a man’s yearning for his childhood ignorance. I did not expect these lines to follow me to Tanzania. In the small town of Tarime, desperately searching for a role to take on, this poem now reads in a tone much more sinister. It names the prison I have build for myself. Sticking to “what the research says” and the most progressive models of community organizing are what responsible people do, right? It is best to maintain a structure that is familiar and recommended. If a community doesn’t respond well then there must be something wrong with them, not the plan. Just like a mind palace, I know where everything fits and how to get there as long as no one interferes. These plans keep me green, fresh, and hopeful. They keep outsiders irrelevant and inhuman.

As long as I have these expectations and have confidence that they will be met, I am shielded from a reality in which these expectations and my supposed knowledge are not enough. Whole systems are built to protect green bubbles of expectation. Missionaries are sent out, NGOs are formed, political parties created to implement these expectations and to insist that things are better because of them.

Green and dying

So money is raised, rousing speeches made to cheering audiences, all with confidence that we can make change, that we have the answer and the means to that end. We talk about success so loudly we fail to hear the dying just beyond the fence. We fail to realize that insistence on This Way kills the chance for A Way. But who cares? We can only see as far as the green grass of the front yard.

I sang in my chains like the sea.

We create our own prison, we never reach the land because everything we touch becomes part of the green green sea and we never see the dying. For Thomas to write this, he must have at least glimpsed something beyond the “apple boughs” and the “dingle starry.” It must have scared him, for this poem is indeed a longing for those chains, for that green prison. Maybe this is not the most hopeful message, but it is a message that we must hear. As people of God we are called to step outside of the gate, to set aside answers to questions that no one is asking, and to see the dying.

The Good News is that in seeing how we destroy ourselves, we have an opportunity for life. We have opportunity to do what we fear we cannot do outside of a singing prison. If we let go of the illusion of green, we allow the possibility for spring to blossom in its time.

Bernadette M. St. Amand

GMF International, Class of 2017-2019

Tanzania

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