Who am I?
It isn’t a complete tragedy that I’ve never known the answer to this question. I have never defined myself, making me vulnerable to letting others define who I am.
Who am I? Thankfully, my quarter life crisis, my life long identity crisis, as well as the cultural crisis (due to leaving home for the first time in my life) would culminate the perfect storm of the ideal timing, season, motivation, and environment for me to get my hands dirty and discover the answer to this question. I’ve avoided the question for 24 years for various reasons.
There have been times that I could literally feel the electricity in the atmosphere shock my heart- bringing me back from the hell of mundane and meaningless routine that I willingly embraced because of the expectations society thrust upon me.
The main thing I learned in my 24th year of life is that I am too young to know anything and therefore, I am certain that who I am today will not be the same as when I am 35. But, I hope that I will continue to make progress by continuing to evolve and be enlightened.
One of the strongest desires that dwells within me is the unquenchable thirst for knowledge; a curiosity that fuels the gears in my mind to constantly work overtime. I am not comfortable accepting reality from a country/government/society/institution/individual that has intentionally, or unintentionally, deceived or withheld the true nature of my history, culture, or my people.
Realizing, seeking, and understand these important pillars (history, culture, people) helped me understand myself, my family, and my community as well as the position we occupy in this social order – then determine if I will accept that position or rebel against it. It was the beginning of liberating and painful transformation that would ultimately determine the direction of my life.
Since I was a little girl, I have been told to shut up. A consistent wave of complaints concerning my excessive talkativeness convinced me at a young age that I had better shut my mouth. As a result, I’ve wasted a lot of time in silence and have suppressed everything about myself that did not fit into the mold given to me as a black Christian woman in the South.
Upon realizing that living with no authority over myself and without the right to express myself was a form of enslavement. I was restrained without chains. Now 24 years of silence is about to blow a hole in the fabric of reality to this social order and religious institutions that reinforce the infringement of my rights to express myself via invalidating my experience.
I have never been known liberation or inner peace as well as I do when I am actively committed to being genuine and authentic. This leads me to believe that I am charged by God to continue as I desire to see others freed of their bondage as well.
Lover of Justice — Lover of people
My love for justice and people are the primary and underlying motives for everything that I do and say. I am convinced that it is impossible to be a lover of justice without being a lover of people. Likewise; I cannot understand how one could claim to be a lover of people without being a lover of justice. The people that claim to love people the most, that’ I’ve known, have a very incomplete concept of justice- if justice is even a factor for anyone but themselves.
Many have told me that because of the direct manner of my words or the nature of the words, that I am no longer speaking the truth in love. I beg to differ, I am only speaking the truth via highlighting the unfiltered reality because of love, and I have relinquished myself of the responsibility of how others react.
Who am I?
Lover of the black community ~ Artist ~ Africana Womanist ~ Healer ~ Liberator ~ Poet Activist ~ Author ~ Revolutionary ~ Fierce Lover
Who are you?
GMF US-2, Class of 2016-2018
Seattle District of The United Methodist Church